Happiness Post #2

1. Nattu's birthday card for me.  That girl had written a personal note in the card that made me very happy.
2. Sonu's tight hug to wish me.  He made sure he gave me special attention.
3. Accessories that I bought on sale.
4. Clean house.  Cleaned it after a few weeks due to hectic schedule.  Clean bathrooms, organized closet all made me very happy
5. Wishes and calls from the ones who care about me.  Made me happy.

Happiness Post #1

I am writing after a loooooooong time. A lot has happened in my life in the past few years that has completely changed how life used to be for me. I was thrown into fire and I am still coming out of it. Got burnt, was broken to pieces and I had no clue how to put my life back in place. I like the comfort zone but there was none. It was hard not to have anyone to fall back on.
I am still recovering and don't want all this feeling masking the moments of happiness I get everyday. It is mostly because of Nattu and Sonu. Wanted to capture some moments that made me happy today.
1. Nattu calls me everyday after reaching home from school. In her call today, she was talking to me in a sing-song voice. I had kept guacamole for her lunch and she sang a song on guacamole that she learnt at school. She was in a cheerful mood and that reflected in her voice. I had a smile throughout the call. At the end she said 'now that I have entertained you enough, I will put the phone down. See you in the evening'. I could not control my laughter. She does bring a lot of cheer in my life.
2. When I reached home in the evening, Sonu came and gave me a tight hug. That was wonderful.
3. Both of them got ready for their swim class with minimum prompting.
4. Recalled some pranks that they did when they were small. They laughed so much. It filled my heart with joy.
5. Nattu enjoyed her dinner and appreciated it. Made me happy.

Confused..

Nattu came back from school yesterday and said: Amma my friend told me that I will grow to be a werewolf.
Me: (Surprised) why did she say that.
Nattu: A boy told me that amma. HE said that because I have too much hair on my legs and when I grow up I will have hair all over the body and will look like a werewolf.
Me: (Shocked) A boy told you that
Nattu: Yes it was a boy. Can you remove all the hair from my legs amma.
Me: (very angry by now) You should have told him that its none of his business
Nattu: (in a whining tone)But I still want to remove the hair from my legs amma
Me: Well you cannot be doing everything just because somebody commented on something. Tomorrow somebody will come and say 'why do you have long hair?' then will you cut it off. You have to live life on your terms Nattu not because someone will say something.

Nattu became quiet after I mentioned the long hair part. *moment to preen* Nattu has hair till her waist and is trying to grow till it reaches a little below her butt. She saw my childhood pictures and wanted to grow it that same way I had when I was young. Now that I hardly have any hair and losing it in bunches is not the question here. Everybody appreciates her thick hair and she takes pride in it. So when I told her about her hair she kinda left the topic.

But I was mad that a boy would mentioned this to her looking at her legs. She is in first grade and I did not expect kids of that age to be paying attention to such stuff. It was a warm day yesterday that is why she wore skirt to school.

Came home and told G about this. He said I should have told her she will lose the hair when she grows up. I did not want to say that because that is not the truth.

I never thought I will have to deal with these things at this young age.

Nattu-isms

Been sometime since I posted about Nattu. She is one witty girl whose response time to things is in microseconds. We at times think... 'How does she come up with such responses'. Here are a few instances

Scene 1:

I cut watermelon and give a wedge to her.

Nattu: What should you tell me amma
Me: (thinking 'shouldn't she be the one telling me thank you'): what should I tell you
Nattu: you should tell me 'enjoy your watermelon nattu'
Me ???
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Scene 2:

I do something for nattu which makes her so happy..

Nattu: you are the second best mommy in this whole world
Me: (feeling jealous and sad) who is the first best then?
Nattu: Oh! that would be your mommy
Me: (no arguing on that point)

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Scene 3:

Nattu did not want to go to school one day. Since she had not missed even one day of school this year I tell her: 'Only three more weeks of school. You will get a certificate on the last day for perfect attendance.'
Nattu(crying hard): 'All we will do is to hang the certificate on the wall. What am I going to gain from that?'
Me: ???

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Scene 4:

I pick Nattu and her friend A from daycare and come home. I go upstairs and change into my regular pajamas. Nattu sees me coming down the stairs and comments to A: My mom is hot.
A who is couple of years older than Nattu tells her: Thats a bad word, you should not use it.
Nattu to me: I am sorry amma, I didn't mean it.
Me: ???

Why..

..is it so hard for you to appreciate but easy to find fault.
..is it ok for you to talk to your mom everyday but is not OK for me to talk to my parents.
..is your job more important and mine has no value.
..should I always be the one to bend my schedule to match yours.
..is anything to do with kitchen work is my job and yours is only to eat what is dished out from there.
..is any talk on equal rights from me is blamed on the blogs I read.
..should you shy away from holding hands in public or any PDA because you don't want others to see you and you are living in USA.
..is talking to my BFF bothers you so much.
..is my mind so muddled when I think about our future.

Too Early...

My cousin passed away yesterday. He is much older than me and was going to turn 60 in August. He was looking forward to his retired life and had lot of plans to spend his time traveling, spiritual pursuit, spending time with family, his new grandson and a lot more. He became a grandfather three months ago. So what happened that put a break to all his plans?

It was cancer. He went to the doctor two months ago because he had numbness in his feet. The doctors did the usual prelim tests, blood work, x-ray, scan etc and found that he had a growth near his spine that was putting pressure on his nerves. They did a surgery to remove the lump and send the tissue for biopsy. Came back as sarcoma, the virulent form. The cancer had already spread and showed its presence in almost all vital organs including lungs. He was in the hospital for a total of 62 days deteriorating each passing day and finally slipped away in the ICU last night. He could not recognize his own daughter the last time she came to see him. She was heart broken.

It was a typical case of negligence. He had chosen to ignore the initial symptoms like pain around the neck and general tiredness. He attibuted those to his age and his long commute to work.

They whole thing seem so sudden. He went to the doctor two months ago with complaints and never came back home. It just got worse and worse. His son is preparing for his finals and his exams starts in two days.

My cousin told my mom when she visited him the plans he had when he retired. She is still to come in terms with her nephew passing away.

Life seems so unpredictable. The saying 'live every day as though its your last day' makes so much sense in this case. He had worked hard all his life providing for his family, raising his kids and was looking forward to a relaxed retired life. He never made it to the finishing line.

It was just too early for him to say goodbye.

Compliments..

I went shopping last weekend and bought couple of nice summer dresses. One of them was a black and white dress which when worn made me feel really feminine..err what I mean is I looked good when I tried the dress at the store. I wore the same to work today with a little different hairdo and accessories that matched the dress. I thought someone will compliment me for the effort I put in but the whole day no one said anything. I could see the reaction on some of the faces but not one soul uttered a word.

As I was getting ready to leave in the evening, a friend from another team stopped by. I had seen her earlier in the day on my way to the restroom and at that time she was getting back to her desk and was talking to someone on her cellphone. She said that she stopped by because she wanted to tell me how good I looked in my dress. She said that the dress, the hairdo and the accessories all make me look atleast 5 years younger. She then proceeded to ask where I got the dress and other such details. She also mentioned that she was glad to catch me before I left because if she gave the compliments the next day it wouldn't be the same. I haven't stopped smiling ever since.