Monday, May 10, 2010

Where did I go wrong?

There is this craze for 'silly bands' among elementary school kids in US now a days. They are actually stupid rubber bands that has shapes of animals or birds. Kids wear it around their wrist where it looks like a proper rubber band and take it out and put it on a flat surface to show off what shape it takes. Sonu and Nattu have not asked for these silly bands or not even mentioned it in passing conversation. We went to a get together last weekend where some of their friends were wearing these bands. S and N were intrigued by these bands still did not ask me to buy it for them.

We attended a light music show yesterday where the kids sat with us for the first hour and listened to the songs belted out. Sonu got bored after that and asked when we can go home. Right around that time the show had a break and we came out of the auditorium to the front lobby. We met a few of our friends there and the kids made some new ones. The show resumed after the break. I went into the auditorium with MIL while the kids continued to run in and out. G stood next to the door and kept an eye on them. They were not disturbing anyone and no one was complaining. So I let them have fun with their new found friends. In the middle of a song, Sonu and Nattu came and asked me whether they can have a dollar to buy a silly band from one of their friends. I said 'No'. The show got over and on our way back the kids show me the new silly bands around their wrists. They take it out to show the shape of the band. I was surprised and asked them where they got the silly bands from. They said 'we got a dollar from appa and bought this from one of the boys'. I was hopping mad at G. I asked G why he gave them money. G said he asked the kids to ask for my permission if they can buy the silly bands, they came back and told him that I said 'OK' so thats why he gave them the money. Now I was mad at the kids for twisting the truth to their benefit. I ask them in front of G what my answer was to their request for a dollar, they said that I said 'No'. Then I confronted the kids and asked them why they lied to their appa to get the silly band. Ofcourse Sonu knew what he did was wrong and remained quiet while Nattu said 'I got two bands amma while he got only one'. I felt like banging my head on the wall.

I was mad at G for not checking with me before giving the money to the kids for something as silly as the silly band, I was mad at kids for lying to their father to get something they wanted, I was feeling miserable having failed somewhere in this parenting gig.

Where did I go wrong?

5 comments:

  1. Spare the wall and read this article....

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article7127680.ece

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  2. Thanks V. That article made me feel a little better. But I still would want S and N to be honest.

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  3. Kids do the whole "misrepresent one parent to the other to get my way" thing - especially between 3-8 years of age.

    Recently read somewhere that kids who "creatively" lie to parents in small things grow up to be the creative/intelligent types - not sure how true this will be in our own case though !

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  4. Thanks PV for the comment. Random thoughts (first comment) sent that link and it felt good reading through it but had the same questions that you had - how true this will be in our own case.

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  5. Hi! Am back from my trip - have to leave on Thursday on the next trip. Was fun reading this post. Since I am jet lagged and up really early - am in this serene peaceful mood - and in that mood this post only makes me smile! For I see no reason for you even worry here! Just a little thing - you can just tell them - don't lie next time you want something - you just insist you want it but don't lie - no point stressing yourself over this. I saw the silly bands craze in the east coast for the first time (another reason I could relate to this post) and I bought a bunch of em for my friends kids here. KB wanted glow in the dark ones and I hunted everywhere and finally found them at a grocery store! You know they trade two regular bands for one glow in the dark one. It is fun - going through these phases - might as well indulge them - it is not so expensive anyway. And I find those bands very cute. In the west coast no one wears these bands. At least I have not seen them.

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