There is a tag going around where everyone is listing their fears. Something that happened this morning made to want to do this post. Here goes my list...
1. I am afraid of dogs. I admire them from a distance but do not have the courage to pet them. Living in US, thats a big no-no as almost everybody owns a dog and treats them as a family member. They are lovely creatures and are so loyal. But I am just scared of them. This morning I walked out of home to get into the car with Nattu when a huge dog came running towards us. I was getting into my seat and Nattu was going around the car to get to her door. In fact she was the one who saw the dog and froze. I saw through the window that the dog was coming towards her and asked her to come to me. She ran to my side of the car and got on my lap while I closed the door quickly behind us. There we were sitting in the driver seat with no room to move. I asked her to go to her seat from inside the car. She stepped on my work pants as she made her move, but I did not care. I looked around and could not see the dog anywhere. I did not want to back up the car lest I run over the dog. Then I will be in even more trouble. I finally did back up and saw that the owner of the dog was petting it at a distance. The owner had three more dogs with him and he was taking them for a walk. I was wondering why he did not have a leash on the big dog while the smaller ones were on one. I was laughing all the way to my work thinking of the two of us cramped in the driver seat to get away from the dog :-)
2. I am afraid of creepy movies. I cannot watch monsters, aliens, dracula movies. G loves to watch these sci-fi movies but I am scared to watch them and get nightmares even if I watch a couple of scenes.
3. I am afraid of hurting others feelings. There are so many times when I want to say something harsh, but keep quiet because I am afraid that what I say may hurt them. If it’s someone I really care about, I do make sure to get the point across when I am a little more calm and not angry or agitated. But some people take this as to me being meek and try to walk all over me.
4. I am afraid of my behavior around my kids. I sometimes yell or scream at the kids when things don't go the way I want. Then I analyze my behavior and repent for putting my kids through that situation. I can see the hurt in my son's eyes when I do this and feel so bad later when I am more sober. I am working on getting not too worked up when kids drive me crazy.
5. I am afraid of embarrassing myself in public. But I am getting over this slowly and teaching my kids too that it’s ok to get embarrassed and not everybody is perfect
Solo Trip to Iceland.
2 weeks ago