So Appa had been weak and fragile ever since he came back from hospital. My brother never expected him to pass away yesterday because appa was fine and responding well in the morning. My brother brushed his teeth and fed him his tea in the morning. As he was giving the last sip, my brother commented like how we do to kids while giving their last morsel of food, 'Nammathu chamathu kutti yaaaaru...Neethan'. My dad after finishing the last sip replied 'Nammathu chamathu kutti 'my brother's name'. My brother said that he was all aware of what was spoken so never thought he looked like he was ready to say goodbye.
In the afternoon, the eye doctor had come to check on my dad regarding excess mucous coming out of his tear glad at night. He prescribed some eye drops and left. Then my dad went to take his nap. My mom went to get his next feed ready. When the male nurse returned from his lunch and touched my dad he felt that my dad was cold. He called my mom and asked her if she checked on him. She then called the doctor. The doctor checked the pulse and said that it was very feeble and at a point where it cannot be revived. His life slowly ebbed away.
I am thankful that I got to see him in January when we performed sadhabhishekam for my dad and mom. He was fine then. Though weak he was still walking around with his walker taking care of his own chores. It has been only 35 days and I am here booking my tickets again to go back home. The image I have of my dad from January is so different from the ones I got over the past one month. The deterioration has been drastic and I am not able to find any reason for it. Maybe he had nothing else to hold on to and was ready to go. This one month was his way of preparing us for his final journey. I am happy that he did not suffer much and his end was quick.
It will be different this time when I go home and not see him in his room. Have to see...
3 weeks ago