There are a few people in my life who blame other things/people/situations for their problems. These people never focus on their issues but would rather go around talking/gossiping about other's problems. Sometimes I feel such people focus on other's issues just to escape introspecting the issue on hand. It is easy to talk or point fingers about other people issues. When forced to confront with their own issues, these people try to blame others for their issues. That becomes even more easier than to figure out the cause of issue.
Unless a person changes because they want to bring about change, no one else can fix issues in one's life. You may provide perspectives, but unless the person realizes and wants to bring about the change, it is very difficult to fix the problem. It is almost like how counselors guide you through the process but will never make the decision for you. You have to make the decision since you have to be convinced with the decision you made as you are the one who is going to live with it.
I am not sure if it is immaturity or ego that stops people from introspecting their lives. What is causing stress? What is the cause of their misery? How to get out of that terrible mental state? They never realize that blame game never gets them anywhere. It is like the dog trying to catch its own tail. You go running around in circles but with no solution. Such people do not listen to others too easily. They think the others are trying to put the blame on them and become very defensive when help is offered. They make not only their own life miserable but also the people around them. No one is happy at the end of the day.
My dad always used to say 'look at the dirt on your butt before looking at others.' He was crass that way while making a point. It took me a while to understand that each of us are responsible for our own misery or happiness. Situations and people may present different hues in our lives, but what we choose to do with them is only under our control. Cutting out toxic people or situations is sometimes necessary for our mental peace. It becomes a difficult choice but needs to be done. Handling situations to help others see the issues requires tact which may sometimes backfire.
If people can work through their issues without their ego interfering then a lot of good can come out the situation. Arguments will become less noisy and more meaningful as issues are sorted out.
Too many thoughts going across the mind hence this terrible post. No coherence at all but this has to come out of my system for my own sanity.
3 weeks ago