Decision making is a tricky art. When growing up I was not aware of this integral part of life that in adult life I struggled to make decisions and be at peace with it. I was looking for others to tell me what to do because it was easier to follow than to lead. Growing up most of the decisions were taken by my parents and I felt it was the right thing for me. Even in a couple of instances when I had doubts and voiced them, at the end of it, somehow I could not rebel enough to get my wish.
Even after marriage, I struggled to make decisions. At least the major ones. It took me a long time to understand the importance of knowing to make decisions and being ok with the results. If the end result is favorable then you made the right decision, if it is not favorable it still teaches you a lesson of where you went wrong in the decision making process. Taking the blame for wrong decisions is the key part. Lot of people do not like to own the end result so shy away from decision making. It is easier to blame others in case of failure.
I am now comfortable making decisions. Though I struggle if I don't understand the situation fully, but most of the time I am ok with making one. Either you fail or you succeed. I am ok with both. But the comfort level I have with decision making makes me wonder if I am the same person I was not too long ago.
I am letting my kids make decisions and learn from mistakes so that they are not afraid to make decisions in life. I cannot be with them all the time nor do I want to make decisions for them all the time. I want to be the guide not the authority. Yes since they are young, we are responsible for their life but I am aware that I need to let go so that they will use their own wings to fly.
I know mothers who still want to control every decisions of their children even after marriage. Neither the mother understands the importance of letting go nor does the children understand the need to live their life in their own terms. The hardest part is for those people who are married into such family and struggle to make sense of such family dynamics. I am pretty sure such politics exists in every family in different degrees.
Decision making is not hard. You just need to be brave to face the consequences that comes out of it. Be happy if the decision worked out right and know how to fix the issues if decision did not work out as expected.
Are you part of the solution or the problem?
2 weeks ago